The Golden Corral Hates Your Town

I’m no fan of chain restaurants, but The Golden Corral has recently crossed the line from an irritating big business to a malignant antagonist of local eateries. 

 

In a TV commercial the chain is currently airing a man orders a number of normally expensive items from a local restaurant.  The waiter is accommodating until the man says he wants everything for under ten dollars (or something close to it, I’m not sure about the exact value), at which point the waiter seemingly panics.  The thesis of this ad is that while you can get the same menu items from local restaurants, The Golden Corral will undercut their local competitors and give your cheaper food.   (I saw this commercial on TV and couldn't find it online anywhere.  If anyone can I'd love to link to it.) 

 

Like many commercials, this one was probably supposed to be funny and like many it also utterly fails in that regard.  What’s more problematic however, is that the ad characterizes local restaurants as inept, buffoonish establishments that can’t compete with chains.  This attitude brings the march of generic, mediocre food to our doorsteps as it tries to wipe out not only competing corporate restaurants, but local ones as well. 

 

In reality, local restaurants are better than chains in nearly every way.  They offer better food and usually competitive prices.  (When they’re more expensive it’s usually because they serve better food.)  On the other hand, chains like The Golden Corral have banal menus written in office suites.  How that is a good thing I'll never know.  

 

If this recent ad campaign were to completely accomplish its objective, no one would visit local restaurants any more.  In turn, local restaurants would go out of business.  Money would be siphoned away from local economies and there would be less innovation in the market place.  I don’t necessarily think The Golden Corral intended for their ad to be as malicious as it is, but then again not many people who do bad things started off trying to be bad. 

 

The ultimate result of this commercial is that The Golden Corral has cast itself as a corporate bully pushing around smaller businesses.  There’s no reason to support that behavior.  There’s no reason to endorse a company whose objectives also happen to be destructive to our communities.  In the end, there’s no reason to eat at this restaurant.

Laura and Jim’s Fictional Café

One of my favorite things to do is imagine the fictional café that Laura and I could run.  Ever since I’ve known Laura she’s had a knack for making delicious food that isn’t from a cookbook.  What’s more, Laura tends to want to eat something different all the time, which has provided the impetus for many of her best dishes.  I, on the other hand, could eat the same thing indefinitely, which has ensured that we remember how to make some things more than once.  Thus, (as I imagine it) Laura would be the head chef while I’d be her sous chef.  I also figure I’d handle the business side of things and probably wash a lot of dishes, which I’d be cool with.  

 

Our ideas about the café change frequently.  For example, for a little while we decided it would be a restaurant that served only stuffing.  This decision came about because, for some reason, we had a ton of extra bread around the house.  We weren’t going to eat it before it went bad, so Laura decided to make stuffing.  At first the stuffing was pretty standard Thanksgiving-style fare.  Laura, however, wasn’t content to eat that everyday for a week or more, so she started experimenting.  By the time the bread ran out she had invented apple cinnamon stuffing, a fruity, yogurt-based stuffing, and several other kinds.  Though we both got sick of eating soggy bread after awhile, the best part was the name we came up with for the restaurant: The Good Stuff.

 

In reality, Laura and I aren’t planning on opening a café.  Personally (I can’t speak for Laura), I’d be tempted, if it didn’t seem like every café in the world closes after only a year or two in business.  However, what strikes me is just how important food is helping to understand relationships, periods of time, places, people, etc.  For example, while trying to think of descriptions for the avocado sandwich, I realized I couldn’t quite write what it was like to eat it; no matter what I said it was going to sound more or less like any other avocado sandwich.  To really understand why it’d be on the menu you’d have to eat it.  More than that, you’d have to eat it in a certain place, at a certain time, in certain company.  In other words, the reason a dish is on the menu is because it means something on all those levels.  It has a history.  It’s part of a memory.  The Fictional Café, then, is an ideal space, where food means what it’s supposed to mean and food is like a language, but deeper and more affective than ordinary language.  I imagine that most people have something like this, some dictionary of foods to say things that actual words can’t.  Wedding cakes are like this.  So are funeral potatoes.  For some people, these dishes convey meanings with a potency and robustness only accessible through food.    

 

So, this is the menu, or a dictionary, of mine and Laura’s Fictional Café.  Though I may not know what these foods mean, I do know that they are delicious!  Also, while this is a fictional café, these are real foods that either Laura invented or have come from some recipe that we have used and adapted.  Several are variations on a cookbook that Ashley Hansen has complied.

 

Breakfast Menu (served all day! Because I love breakfast!):

 

Bran Muffins: Family recipe!  These muffins are served hot and are a delicious and healthy alternative other breakfast food (including other, disgusting, bran muffins). 

 

French Toast: Specialty of the Sous Chef!  Several thickly sliced pieces of bread dipped in a special batter and fried to perfection. 

 

Pancakes: Extra sweet recipe, served with homemade maple syrup and spiced plum jam.

 

Lunch Menu:

Egg Sandwich: an innovative twist on a traditional dish, Laura’s egg sandwich combines hard-boiled eggs, mustard, pickles, a unique blend of seasonings, and more.  Be sure to grab some extra napkins!  Served on whole wheat bread. 

 

BLT: The richest, most complete BLT you’ve ever had.  Do not eat this if you have heart problems!  Served with special sauce and optional fresh produce.  Served on white bread.   

 

Avocado Sandwich: Fresh, lightly peppered avocados on whole wheat bread. 

 

Gourmet Pizza (Chef’s special of the day): Each day a different and unique recipe.  Ask at the counter for details.  Some of our most popular offerings: five-mushroom with alfredo: jalapeno, seasoned chicken, and onion; vegetarian; banana with mozzarella.     

 

Asian Stir Fry: tofu, onion, water chestnuts, and red and green peppers, sautéed in soy sauce and served on rice. (Sous Chef’s selection!)

 

Extas:

Strawberry Shortcake (seasonal):  Fresh Strawberries served in thick syrup and whipped cream served on rich, biscuit cakes.  This is not your ordinary strawberry short cake!  (One the things that always ruins strawberry shortcake for me is the cake.  Though different people use different kinds of cakes, they’re typically too airy and flavorless for my taste.  Who wants to eat their strawberries on a sponge?  Laura fixed that problem by using a modified biscuit recipe.)

 

No Bake Cookies: A Chef’s favorite, these are made from a special family recipe (Thanks Ashley!) and come in bars.  Made from the finest chocolate, peanut butter, coconut, oatmeal, and more, these cookies are served chilled and are made fresh daily.