Provo Bakery

Today I felt like a traitor. I needed to get some sort of treat to bring to work, and I got raspberry rolls from Shirley's Bakery. After living next to the Provo Bakery (which bizarrely has no website) for months, going to Shirley's seemed like a betrayal. I've eaten and loved so many things from the Provo Bakery. I've sung it's praises to so many people.

But the honestly, the Provo Bakery needs to step up its game. A lot. First, get a website. Second, I keep getting dried out things from them. The more bakeries I go to, the more disappointing the Provo Bakery is becoming. And that's terrible. I say this not to be mean, or as a disgruntled customer. I still love the Provo Bakery. Rather, I'm trying to offer constructive criticism. I feel like I can never go wrong with the orange rolls or the Mexican wedding cakes. But the cookies? The bread? I feel like I can almost never go right with the donuts. Please, improve. I love you.

So, today, I needed something good, and I needed to know it would be good. I've brought all the good things from the Provo Bakery to work, and so I turned to Shirley's. And you know what, it was delicious.

Mircowaving

Often, I microwave things for 11 seconds, or 22 seconds, or 33 seconds, or so on. I think it's because it's easier to press 1 twice, than press both a 1 and a 0. Lazy, perhaps. But over the course of my lifetime all those saved milliseconds will add up.

Tamale?

Today, while I was chopping down a tree, a woman walked by in the street, pulling a cooler in a wagon.

"Tamale?" she said, pointing to the cooler.

I considered, then gestured with my fingers to wait a second. I ran inside and found a couple of dollars, then ran back out.

"Cheekin?" she asked (that's my best attempt at phonetic spelling). I nodded yes. Then added "Si!" for good measure.

She rummaged through her cooler and found a couple of chicken tamales. After a second she found them, put them in a brown lunch bag, and handed them to me. Then she more or less said "Tienes Agua para tomar?" (That's my best attempt at using my Portuguese to understand, and write, her Spanish). Luckily, she also made a drinking motion with her hands.

I ran inside and got her a glass of water. When I came back out, a guy had pulled up in a truck and was buying something like 20 tamales. He told me he had purchased them from the woman before and that they were great. Before he left, he wished the woman a good weekend in what I'd describe as "Mormon mission president Spanish," i.e. heavily accented but grammatically correct Spanish.

While the woman was drinking the glass of water, I said "Como...tu...chamas?" (That is literally what I said, not an estimate.) She responded by telling me her name was Consuela.

Anyway, the woman eventually left and went on selling tamales to other people nearby. I eventually tried the tamales, and they were delicious.

Sunday and animal cookies

Because I work at a newspaper, I occasionally have to work on Sundays. May is my month, where I work each Sunday for four hours, and work 9 hour days four other times during the week. It's an interesting schedule, that has both pros and cons.

However, today a serious con turned out to be Circus Animal cookies. Actually, it turned out to be a con is pro's clothing.

Apparently on Friday (when I was not working) my part of the office had an little celebration in honor of the pending Rapture. People brought treats, etc.

But when I got to the office, some of that food was still sitting out. Actually a bunch of cans of root beer and half a bag of the cookies were still siting out. Over the course of my time at work today, I have eaten most of those cookies. They aren't really good. In small quantities, they can be alright, in a nostalgic sort of way. But after handfuls and handfuls, they get pretty disgusting. I can say that, because that's what I have experienced today. I don't know why I did it, but learn from my mistake and never eat half a bag of Circus Animal cookies.

The (so-called) Cougareat

Today I saw a random tweet about how someone loves the Cougareat at BYU (the school's main student eatery, for the non-BYU people). It reminded me that I used to love the Cougareat when I was little, but that today it's completely lame.

When I was a kid and came to BYU during family vacations, it was still more of a cafeteria type place. I loved the food at the time, but even if it wasn't haute cuisine at least it was unique-ish to BYU. In other words, it was something at BYU that could be found nowhere else in the world.

Fast forward to today, and it's mostly filled with generic chain fast food places. Taco Bell, Subway, blah blah blah. Sure, these places aren't bad, but they're nothing to write home about. There are a few unique places (Sugar and Spice, for instance), but for the most part the place feels like it could be anywhere. Actually, no that's not true. It feels like it could be in any suburban mall. And I can think of no greater insult. (I heard students in the 90s actually wanted the Cougareat to be based on a mall food court. WTF.)

New food weekend

This last weekend Laura and I received a free hotel room in Salt Lake City. So we decided to forego our recent extreme thriftiness and have a good time. And that meant eating at several new restaurants.

First, we ate at Mountain West Burrito. Its a new shop located right in between Provo and Orem. Despite its terrible name and location — it's literally in gas station — I'd constantly been hearing good things about this place, from people whose tastes I highly respect.

So we went and it was pretty fantastic. I got the "half and half" burrito, which had chicken and vegetables, among other (more typical) burrito ingredients. At one point I took a bite and realized there was zucchini in my burrito. It blew my mind. And the chicken was probably one of my top five experiences with restaurant chicken. Ever. So try this place out if you're in the area.

After eating our burritos we drove the rest of the way up to SLC. We went to gallery stroll, which was cool(ish). While we were walking around we saw this place called Gourmadise. We thought it would be a good place for desert, and it was. Though the atmosphere was extremely chaotic and disorganized, the food was delicious. I had the croissant pudding, and Laura had a raspberry tart. Though I would never go back to this place at 9:30 p.m. on a Friday night, I would definitely go back at a time when there was a smaller crowd. (Laura just told me she wouldn't go back to this place because she thought it was overpriced and under-qualitied. I think she just ordered the wrong thing, but take that for what it's worth.)

The next morning we ate breakfast at Bruges, a Belgium waffle place near Tony Caputo's. We both got waffles. We were especially excited to eat at this place because we went to the actual city of Bruges over the summer, and ate Belgium waffles there. Surprising as it might sound, the ones we got in SLC were actually better. There was quite amazing, and filling (despite looking small, we were both full afterward.) I've read some people complain that this place is too expensive. And it was pricey; for two waffles we spent something like $13. So obviously I wouldn't eat here all the time. But on the other hand, I was as full and satisfied as if I had purchased a larger-looking meal. Also, the taste was incredible.

Finally, on our way home from SLC, we stopped and got sandwiches at Flour Girls and Dough Boys, in American Fork. Though sort of out of the way (it's in American Fork, after all), I can't say enough good things about this place. I ordered a ham and honeybutter panini, which was great, but I also highly recommend the apple and brie panini, or the cranberry-walnut-turkey-brie sandwich. The environment is cool (allbeit in a sort of, middle-aged, mom-ish way), and the sandwiches are delicious.

Pointless Technologies

I rely on—and generally love—technology. I can’t imagine life without the internet, I already depend heavily on my new iPod touch, and most of the jobs I’ve done (writing, video editing, etc.) have a significant tech component.

However, there are also some really pointless uses of technology. Despite promising to save time, make life more convenient, or whatever, they actually just cause problems. Yet, somehow, they prevail. I’m not taking about those silly things that people invent, put on late night commercials, and then fail to actually sell. I’m also not talking about great ideas by major companies that just didn’t catch on (Apple, for example, has created a lot of things that didn’t catch on, but it’s also managed to produce paradigm-changing products at the same time. I’m also not talking about the iPad, because the jury is still out on that and though I don’t have one, I like them.) Instead, I’m talking about things that lots of people use, but which aren’t actually saving time, or even benefiting people much.

So here are a few examples:

Weed wackers: When I was a teenager I always had to mow and edge our yard. I really hated it. Now that I’ve moved back into my parents house, that has apparently become my job once again. However, while the lawnmower works well enough, I was surprised this week to see just how aggravating the weed wacker still is. It’s a gas-powered machine, and it uses those green plastic cords to cut the grass. To use it, you wrap the cord around a spool, and then to feed more cord out you bump the spool on the ground. (The ones I've used are similar to the one pictured below, but are also not that exact model.)

Whether that makes sense or not, the point is that it doesn’t even remotely work like it's supposed to. As you can imagine, a thin plastic cord constantly hitting rocks, cement, etc. wears down quickly. However, the machine that my parents have hardly ever feeds more cord out properly. That means that literally every five minutes you have take the thing apart and manually pull out more cord.

The result is that a job that should take 20 minutes ends up taking hours. There are many solutions to this problem, but the easiest would just be for some one to invent a weed wacker/edger that actually works.

Dishwashers: Dishwashers might be my most hated appliance ever invented. They seem so promising: no one likes washing dishes and a machine that would do it for you would be great.

The problem is that no dishwasher I’ve ever seen actually works. First, you basically have to wash all the dishes hand before putting them in the dishwasher. Then, somehow, there is still food stuck all over the supposedly cleaned dishes. I’ve lived in lots of houses and apartments, and without fail that’s the outcome I’ve experienced. And while I have no doubt that there are probably some super powered (and super expensive) dishwashers that actually work, I’m yet to see them in action.

The funny thing is that it’s also pretty easy to wash dishes hand. Most people are already doing it, but without soap, so that their dishwashers will work. For some reason, however, there seems to be a mistaken impression that machines are getting dishes more sanitary or clean, simply because they’re machines.

Rice cookers: This may be a controversial choice for this list, because most rice cookers I’ve seen do work, and many people love them. However, what are they really doing? To cook rice, you literally just have to boil it in a pot with water. That means that a rice cooker is just a pot with a timer on it. They may save some time by going marginally faster, but they also sacrifice some freedom: you can’t test and season rice as easily when it’s locked in a machine.

Bread machines: Bread machines are like a cruel joke. They make something that looks and deliciously smells like bread, but that typically is a monumental disappointment. The vast majority of bread machine bread that I’ve had have a bland flavor, overcooked crumbly crust, and a far too airy interior. Maybe those things are the result of bad recipes, but time and again I’ve had disappointing bread machine bread from different people and in different settings. It’s usually on par with the cheapest store bought stuff, but coupled with the smell of home cooked bread, it's infinitely more disappointing.

This list could go on and on, but the point here is that everything doesn’t need to be mechanized, and that some modern machines are just producing awful simulacra of good things.

Monday Movie: Food Inc.

I honor of the academy awards last night, today's film recommendation is Food Inc. I saw this film a few months ago and was impressed; it presents a whole bunch of information in a way that it understandable and compelling. It basically goes into the ways in which food production (and, thus, consumption) has changed over the last 100 years, and how that is a problem.

The film isn't perfect, though. I did feel like it was a bit scattered and lacked a cohesive narrative. Still, it was informative and I've found myself thinking about it often. The academy apparently agreed, as it was nominated (but didn't win) an academy award.

I have included a video from the movie below, however, the "official trailer in HD" has embedding disabled, so you'll actually have to go to youtube and watch it here.

Animals, Food, and Compounding Problems

This morning I read this New York Times OpEd, which basically argues that many animals are being subjected to cruel treatment and that that needs to stop. I agree, but was appalled at the proposed solution: genetically engineering animals so they cannot feel pain.

Initially, I couldn't believe I was reading such a shocking and idiotic idea. Surely the author's intentions (eliminating animal cruelty) are worthy, but this seems like an absurd way to go about it. Instead of actually addressing any of the current problems with animal/meat production (of which there are many), it actually suggests that all those problems can be solved (or skirted) with a quick and easy fix.

Obviously, this raises ethical questions, (is it right to eliminate animals' ability to feel pain?) but it also raises more practical ones as well. For example, wouldn't it be better to eliminate the conditions that produced the problems in the first place? Can a technological fix solve problems that are the result of technological farming in the first place? Doesn't this article itself reveal the severity of the problems? Doesn't that mean we should try to solve them at their roots (or reverse their causes), instead of simply reducing animals' sensitivity to dangerous conditions.

The proposal also fails to adequately acknowledge the dangers that current meat production techniques pose to humans. Though I'm not, as a rule, opposed to all genetic engineering, I am opposed to raising animals in ways that are both cruel to them and unhealthy to the people eating them. The article points out, for example, that some animals are suffering because they have an unnatural high-grain diet. That diet not only hurts the animals, however, but also makes the eventual meat they become far less healthy for people to consume. Altering animals to not feel pain doesn't begin to address that problem. In essence, the same things that are producing cruel situations for animals are making meat products dangerously unhealthy for humans. Genetically reducing animals' pain would allow unhealthy practices to continue, ultimately causing far more harm (to animals and humans) in the long run.

Ultimately, this article advocates a dangerous idea. It will deceive consumers into thinking that they're getting a better product when they're actually getting something that is the same, or worse, as usual. Instead of figuring out how to make animals more comfortable in horrible situations, we should be figuring out how to eliminate those situations. We could give them the proper food, space to grow properly, and a more natural environment to live in. There are serious farming-related problems out there for which we urgently need solutions, but simply reducing animal pain would mean winning one battle while ignoring a much larger war. Fighting that war might mean higher prices for consumers (and/or less meat consumption), but side-stepping it with more genetic engineering will only compound a terrible situation.

In-N-Out is a Typical Chain Resturant

Recently, In-N-Out infiltrated northern Utah, where I currently reside. It's been a big hit. However, I'm always surprised by the quasi-religious devotion that the company engenders. Its food is decent and, having grown up in California, I've partaken of it many times. On the other hand, it isn't the best out there.

With the company's continued expansion, I think it's important to remember one`` thing: In-N-Out is a chain. Like all chains, it does some things well, but it also does some things very poorly. Generally speaking, it promotes a particular world view that, while perhaps more salient than that of McDonalds et al., is no less generic.

More specifically, In-N-Out, as a chain, works against local communities in a number of ways. Most obviously, it siphons profits back to its California headquarters. Though it reportedly pays its employees well and ranks high in customer satisfaction, the bottom line is that the people getting the richest are concentrated in one central location. In my case, that location also happens to be hundreds of miles away.

In addition, the company competes with and undercuts more unique businesses that are based in the community. Someone will probably read this and complain that if those businesses can't compete they deserve to go under, but what options are available to them when confronted with the billions of dollars and virtually unlimited resources of a huge company? Without any real advertising budget or marketing strategists, it might take years for a local burger joint to achieve profitability. If In-N-Out decides to open a store nearby, they're immediately out of time to win over new customers. Entrepreneurial vigor obviously wilts and with it creativity and diversity. Because of the chain's clout and name recognition, then, consumers don't really have a chance to make informed decisions.

There are lots of reasons that In-N-Out, like all chains, is destructive to local communities, but the point here is that it isn't extraordinarily cool, unique, or better than other companies that are frequently lampooned as "evil corporations" in popular culture. It surely siphons less profits back to its corporate headquartes than McDonalds, but it still does it.

Of course, some people would argue that In-N-Out is a family run business, not a franchise, and that that somehow makes it better. And it's true, the company certainly isn't as big (or as bent on world domination) as other companies. Yet, aren't most huge companies "family run" at some point. Wal-Mart, for example, was started by the Walton family. McDonald's began with two brothers. For In-N-Out's turn, it's not actually owned by the original family anyway, so how exactly is it a family company?

Other devotees maintain that the company embodies admirable values. They cite things like the Bible verses on the food packaging, or the good treatment of employees. To these claims I would say that there is no doubt that In-N-Out is less bad than bigger (and less personal) chains. However, it's also less good than many local businesses, which may espouse the same values.

What is so surprising about this debate, however, is how thoroughly people believe in the image that In-N-Out is selling. Much like Apple Computers (which I use and love), In-N-Out has marketed an ethos of coolness, underdog values, and small-time business. Increasingly, however, the image is simply the result of slick corporate packaging. Compared to local businesses, the company merely puts a facade on a bloated profit-machine. They've essentially duped the consumer into thinking they're better than other chains, when in reality, they're the same.

Ultimately, people have a right to eat what they want. Also, I'll probably eat at In-N-Out again at some point in my life (after all, I don't dislike their food). I'm not arguing that the chain is evil, but rather that it isn't particuarly helpful to non-So Cal towns. Basically, I can't imagine that there is any community anywhere that has an In-N-Out but also doesn't have something better. The Provo/Orem area has quite a few better burger joints (here, here, here, here, here). And, not only do they have better food, but the money they make stays in the community. Though In-N-Out markets itself as hip and small, it's really just pushing these kinds of places out of business.

Kneaders for Breakfast

For quite a while now I've been meaning to try Kneaders all-you-can eat French toast breakfast. I'd heard good things before, and French toast happens to be one of my favorite foods, so it had always seemed promising. So, this Saturday Laura and I decided to give it a try.

Kneaders serves breakfast until 11 am and you can get the French toast to-go or to eat in. We decided to eat in, as using the drive through wouldn't have allowed us to take advantage of the all-you-can-eat aspect. We showed up around 10 am, on a Saturday and I was shocked at how crowded the restaurant was. We visited the one on Bulldog Blvd in Provo and the line snaked through about half the building. Thankfully, it moved relatively fast and we were able to order.

The French toast breakfast is about $5. It initially comes with two pieces of French toast, a small cup of syrup (refillable), wiped cream, and strawberries. All of it was excellent. The French toast was very thick and the syrup was unique but delicious (it made me remember how inadequate many store-bought syrups actually are). After having eaten everything on my plate I was actually really full. Still, as it turns out the breakfast includes as many pancakes as you want, in addition to French toast, so I decided to go back for more. I went back up to the counter and the guy there immediately served me a large, fluffy pancake. Laura and I were both so full, however, that we decided to split it instead of each getting our own. Unfortunately, they did not give me more wiped cream or strawberries, though I'm more of a syrup guy anyway so it wasn't a big deal.

If the food was fantastic, the eating experience was considerably less so. Not only was the line long, but the actual eating space had at least twice as many people in it as it should have. People were standing up eating, and all the tables were surrounded by vulture-like patrons ready to pounce as soon as someone got up. Luckily, we happened to be next to a table when a family left and we we're able to sit down. However, throughout the meal people constantly bumped into us, pushed by us, and stared covetously at our table. I also have no doubt that if a fire marshal showed up he would have had to close the place down for being over capacity.

Of course, we probably went at the busiest time of the week (and possibly to the busiest Kneaders location too). However, if they're going to offer such a popular product it seems only fair that they figure out a way to see that product without such over crowding. As we walked out people who were finishing at the same time joked to other patrons that they would be taking the highest bid for their table. The whole thing was was pretty ridiculous.

Overall, the food was fantastic but I'd definitely recommend using the drive through if you're going on a Saturday morning. They provide more than enough food on a single plate, and the all-you-can-eat component didn't really end up mattering very much to me and Laura.

Thanksgiving: The Best Holiday of the Year

Thanksgiving is unequivocally the best holiday of the year. Though it consistently ranks below Christmas on many people’s personal holiday rankings, it deserves more credit.

 

Of course, the most obvious reason to praise Thanksgiving is the way it is celebrated. Thanksgiving is practically synonymous with food and feasts. Admittedly, if you aren’t a fan of turkey, pies, mashed potatoes, etc. (and I know many people aren’t) Thanksgiving will probably hold significantly less appeal. On the other hand, Thanksgiving food is fairly varied and most people don’t hate all the traditional dishes. More importantly, perhaps, a Thanksgiving feast provides an opportunity for creativity. This year, for example, my family and I had the typical pies but Laura and I also made banana cake. Last year someone brought sautéed mushrooms. Though these kinds of food definitely weren’t on the Pilgrims menu, they are delicious and any holiday that provides an excuse to eat good food has a lot going for it. Ultimately then, even if you don’t love Thanksgiving food, you can still use the day as an excuse to make and eat a lot of other delicious things.

 

While food is certainly a big part of Thanksgiving, I would argue that is isn’t the most important part. Instead, the most significant part of Thanksgiving is being able to spend time with family or friends. Again, I know that not everyone enjoys this part of the holiday. I also know that there are many people who can’t get together with their families. However, the fact that the Wednesday before Thanksgiving is the biggest travel day of the year suggests that celebrating with loved ones is a typical or at least common thing to do. What’s more, whether you get along with your family or not, Thanksgiving is among the least stressful ways to get together. You don’t to worry about things like presents, and the attention is never on one person as it might be during a wedding, birthday celebration, graduation, etc. 

 

There are a number of other reasons to appreciate Thanksgiving. It takes place in the fall, for example, so it’s not as cold as Christmas but it’s not as hot as the Fourth of July. It also means a day off from work for most people and two days for many (and three for students and teachers). The list could go on and on, but the point is that Thanksgiving genuinely has more to offer than most holidays.

 

Of course, Thanksgiving is also good because of the ways that it isn’t celebrated. As I mentioned above, there are no presents as there is with Christmas. Obviously if you love getting (or giving) things that might seem like a negative thing, but realistically presents raise stress. You have to find just the right thing for everyone, worry about whether they’ll like it, and then act surprised/impressed/excited about what they gave you no matter how you actually feel. Sometimes none of those things are a big deal, but other times they cause serious tensions. At very least Christmas requires everyone to put on a show and by comparison Thanksgiving comes off as a much more sincere holiday.

 

Thanksgiving also isn’t commercialized the way that Christmas or Halloween are. To be honest, the commercial aspect of Christmas is really the only part of the holiday that makes me feel the seasonal “spirit”; I can’t, for example, get into Christmas unless I’ve seen tons of Christmas commercials. However, Thanksgiving’s charm is that you don’t have to “get into” the holiday in the first place. There is relatively little buildup and, consequently, no let down when the day actually comes. As an adult I can’t stress this point enough. Though I loved Christmas as a child it is inevitably disappointing as an adult when I know that there is no magical, Santa-related ending and that the best thing that will happen is that I’ll get to sleep in. Those things are great, but hardly worthy of weeks and weeks of anticipation. Thanksgiving, by contrast, includes the best parts about Christmas without the huge anticipation and subsequent let down.

 

I could go on and on about how much better Thanksgiving is than all other holidays (in the U.S.). Instead, however, suffice it to say that in these first days of December I’m reminded of how much more thankful I am for Thanksgiving than all other holidays.

Eggo Waffles

In my freezer I have a big box of Eggo waffles. I like them. In fact, the reason the box is still in my freezer (several months after it was purchased) is because I keep saving them for a rainy day when I need something delicious to eat. Today however, I learned that my big box of Eggos is about to become something of a scarce and hot commodity. According to this article on MSNBC.com two factories that produce Eggos have recently had to shut down and one, in Tennessee, is still closed. What this means, of course, is that we’re about to enter a waffle famine and we should probably start praying for it to end.

 

Or should we? Though I like Eggos as much as anyone, I was surprised that the MSNBC article was actually able to find people who would be alarmed about the shortage (not to mention who plan to ration the waffles). I would easily consider Eggos breakfast junk food and though the shortage might not make me happy (I feel rather neutral about it), I have to admit that it’s probably only going to make people healthier.

 

Let’s consider: A single waffle has 90 calories, 35 of which are from fat. According to the box, a serving size is two waffles, so we have to double those proportions for a meal (somehow, two waffles are listed as having 190 calories however, not 180.) It’s also worth considering that most people are going to eat their waffles with butter and syrup, both of which have little or no nutritional value. That’s not to mention the various other preservatives and chemicals that go into pretty much all industrially produced foods.

 

On the other hand an apple typically has around 70 calories, very very few of which (if any) come from fat. According to this website an average banana might have 200 calories, but only 6 of those come from fat. Also, fresh fruit of any variety contains numerous vitamins, nutrients, and fiber that make up a healthy diet.

 

Now, Eggo waffles certainly aren’t the worst health offenders in the world, especially when it comes to processed food. However, they’re nowhere near as healthy as fruits, which also make great breakfasts and are among the only things easier to make than Eggos. In that light, it’s not hard to think of the Eggo shortage as less of a famine and more of a fortuitous turn of events. (At least for the country at large, if not for the workers who may be out of work until the plant reopens.) In any case, perhaps this will force people (including me) to return to a healthier lifestyle.

Fictional Café: BLT

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything new about Laura and Jim’s Fictional Café, so here are some new pictures.  This is the delicious BLT.  It’s extra delicious because Laura fries the bread in the bacon grease and because she puts some special sauces and dressings on it.  Needless to say, it is in no way healthy or vegetarian-friendly. 

 

However, recently, Laura has tried making it somewhat less likely to clog an artery.  She’s taken to grilling the bread on the George Foreman, and, as you may notice in the second picture, we’re using turkey bacon.  I have to say, these changes don’t necessarily make the sandwich taste better, but they might make it sell better in a café where people want to eat healthily.  The result, then, is that if someone were to order this sandwich that person would be given the choice of bread-grilling styles, bacon types, and sauces.  

The Golden Corral Hates Your Town

I’m no fan of chain restaurants, but The Golden Corral has recently crossed the line from an irritating big business to a malignant antagonist of local eateries. 

 

In a TV commercial the chain is currently airing a man orders a number of normally expensive items from a local restaurant.  The waiter is accommodating until the man says he wants everything for under ten dollars (or something close to it, I’m not sure about the exact value), at which point the waiter seemingly panics.  The thesis of this ad is that while you can get the same menu items from local restaurants, The Golden Corral will undercut their local competitors and give your cheaper food.   (I saw this commercial on TV and couldn't find it online anywhere.  If anyone can I'd love to link to it.) 

 

Like many commercials, this one was probably supposed to be funny and like many it also utterly fails in that regard.  What’s more problematic however, is that the ad characterizes local restaurants as inept, buffoonish establishments that can’t compete with chains.  This attitude brings the march of generic, mediocre food to our doorsteps as it tries to wipe out not only competing corporate restaurants, but local ones as well. 

 

In reality, local restaurants are better than chains in nearly every way.  They offer better food and usually competitive prices.  (When they’re more expensive it’s usually because they serve better food.)  On the other hand, chains like The Golden Corral have banal menus written in office suites.  How that is a good thing I'll never know.  

 

If this recent ad campaign were to completely accomplish its objective, no one would visit local restaurants any more.  In turn, local restaurants would go out of business.  Money would be siphoned away from local economies and there would be less innovation in the market place.  I don’t necessarily think The Golden Corral intended for their ad to be as malicious as it is, but then again not many people who do bad things started off trying to be bad. 

 

The ultimate result of this commercial is that The Golden Corral has cast itself as a corporate bully pushing around smaller businesses.  There’s no reason to support that behavior.  There’s no reason to endorse a company whose objectives also happen to be destructive to our communities.  In the end, there’s no reason to eat at this restaurant.

Guru's Cafe

A few nights ago Laura and I got dinner with some friends at Guru’s.  It had been quite a while since I’d eaten at Guru’s so I was excited to try it out again. 

 

For the sake of experimentation, on this visit I ordered the Pan Seared Salmon Bowl.  It was good.  Not great, but good.  Appropriately, the salmon was the highlight of the dish but unfortunately everything else didn’t quite measure up.  The vegetables, for example, were acceptable, but bland.  I also went with brown rice, which, to my great disappointment, apparently meant white rice that was faintly brown.  Note: the words “brown” and “white,” when describing rice, as supposed to indicate distinct flavors and textures.  Still, I enjoyed my meal.  It wasn’t good enough on its own to bring me back, but if (or when) I find myself at Guru’s again I won't completely rule out an encore.  

 

This visit reinforced my feeling that if I could only recommend one meal at Guru’s it would be a quesadilla.  Specifically, I’d suggest the vegetarian Santa Cruz Quesadilla.  It’s been a while since I had this particular dish, but it's still the best thing I’ve ordered at Guru’s.  Much more importantly, it’s one of the best quesadillas I’ve had (and indeed it was tempting to simply order it again on this most recent visit).  Apparently I’m not the only one who feels this way; Laura and I noticed that a large plurality of diners around us (including our friends) had also chosen one of the quesadillas.  Though I haven’t tried them all, each one appears to be coming from the same culinary family, which also seems to be where the restaurant excels the most.  Unfortunately none of the rice bowls or pasta dishes that I’ve had shared this distinction, all of them ultimately having been pleasant but bland and forgettable.  (If you’re less hungry try stopping in for an order of sweet potato fries.  This well-known and distinctive side-dish comes with a special house fry sauce and is probably one of the reasons Guru’s is still in business.  They can make an odd combination with some of the dinners, but they’re definitely worth trying.)

 

If Guru’s food isn’t enough to make a repeat customer out of me, the ambiance is.  To be honest, the décor of the restaurant has always bugged me, so I was surprised to find myself liking it so much this time.  In the past I’ve felt like everything was loud and trying just a little too hard to be hip.  I also questioned the tastefulness of the large Gandhi wallpaper in the corner.  (Sure, its called “Guru’s,” which might imply some sort of India connection, but is it really appropriate to use Gandhi’s image to sell burritos?)  This time however, the lighting was much lower, deemphasizing some of the venue’s incongruities.  As an added bonus a jazz band was performing while we ate, which (to my pleasant surprise) radically altered the atmosphere, making it feel far more urban than anywhere else I’ve been lately in Utah County (yes, including Spark).  If none of these changes are wholly original (even in a city like Salt Lake the bar might be terminally higher for a restaurant like Guru’s), they also helped the restaurant stand out in an area dominated by chains and family restaurants (like Brick Oven). 

 

Guru’s is well worth a visit.  The food isn’t the best in the world (or even in Provo), but the experience is unique and unrivaled by other local eateries.  Between the menu and the décor Guru’s has managed to attract both the hip(ster) and mainstream crowds, and (to my surprise) I’m looking forward to my next visit. 

Chain Restaurants/Don’t Go There

From time to time on this blog I’ve reviewed local restaurants.  I hope to keep up that trend but right now I’d like to look at the operative word in that first sentence: local. 

 

By and large I believe that, if you have the choice, it’s better to eat at a local restaurant.  There’s a few reasons I believe this.  First, there is the distinct possibility that the food will be better at a local place, and if it’s not it will still probably be unique.  If you want a sandwich, for example, and decide to go to Subway, you know what you’re going to get.  On the other hand, a local sandwich shop has the freedom to experiment with its menu and try new things.  Those experiements may be delicious, but even if they aren’t better than Subway (which by the way isn’t bad), they’ll offer a one-of-a-kind eating experience.  This idea seems to apply across the board; whether its local Italian verses The Olive Garden and Macaroni Grill, or the neighborhood diner verses McDonalds, Carl’s Jr., etc., my experience is that in each case the smarter culinary choice is to avoid the chains.  

 

Besides the potential for better food, local restaurants almost always have a better environment.  I always laugh/cringe when I walk into a Chili’s, Applebees, Red Robin, TGIFridays, take-your-pick-of-generic-Americana; they all look exactly the same (both from location to location, as well as from company to company).  I remember ending up at one of these restaurants on my first visit to New York and wondering why it would be decorated exactly the same there as it was on the West Coast.  How can there be so many restaurants filling the same bland niche?  (Of course, the food at these places isn’t necessarily bad, they just tend to offer so much less in the way of environment than most local places.  Also, the food at these restaurants isn’t particularly memorable.)  Local restaurants, however, often have quirky environments that, if varying in their success at creating a desired ambiance, are usually much more stimulating than the props chosen by corporate headquarters to decorate chain restaurants.  

 

My point here isn’t to argue for the complete elimination of chain restaurants but rather to suggest that when considering where to eat, thinking local should be the first response.  Obviously there will be times when availability, price, or (bafflingly) even taste will lead people to choose chain restaurants.  Also, most chain restaurants probably started out as local businesses and hopefully retain some of the spirit from their earlier days.  Still, local eateries provide an experience that larger chains can only meagerly and unsuccessfully imitate.  What’s more, eating local pumps more money into the community, which of course means more growth, opportunity, and progress locally.

 

Whether or not you believe in the “buy local” movements sweeping across the nation (and the world), eating at local restaurants is a way to have a rewarding culinary experience while supporting people who are probably your neighbors.  I know that the next time I go out, I’ll be walking down the street to find a place instead of driving to the nearest chain.

Fictional Cafe: Menu Pictures

As Laura and I make items from our Fictional Cafe, I'll try to post pictures to entice you to make a fictional visit.  Below is Laura's Strawberry Short Cake.  Notice the cake is not a nasty sponge-like material, but rather a dense and delicious biscuit cake. 

Here are the strawberries being prepared.  Notice the bowl in which they are being juiced.  It is best to leave them for as long as possible in a lot of sugar.  

These are the no-bake cookies.  Notice that they are bars.  Also, they include extra ingredients, like coconut.  I remember when I first had no-bake cookies that weren't made from this recipe and wondered how they could be so plain (and they were from the usually wonderful Provo Bakery, no less).  Anyway, the point is that these are fantastic.  

Sensuous Sandwich

For several years after I moved to Provo I’d see the wooden façade of Sensuous Sandwich on Center Street and wonder just what went on inside.  I liked the alliteration in the name, but I also wasn’t sure if I’d feel comfortable going inside, or that I wouldn’t need to take a shower afterward.  Fortunately I eventually got curious (and hungry) enough to try it out.  Since then, and after many visits, it has slowly become my favorite sandwich shop in all of Utah. 

 

Entering Sensuous Sandwich the first thing you notice is that the décor is sort of tacky-chic.  On my first visit I was actually surprised at the lack of visual cohesion.  The walls and tables are covered in random old comic strips, 1980s anti-drug posters (this is your brain on drugs…), and Polaroid’s of people who have eaten 24-inch sandwiches.  Combined with the florescent lighting, none of these things seemed to set the mood for a particularly comfortable meal.  On the other hand, the more times I visit the more I’m impressed with how much I like the ambiance.  It gives you enough to look at while not trying to use nostalgia to make up for mediocre food.  While lesser restaurants would suffer from doing the same, Sensuous Sandwich can afford it.  The décor also stands in stark contrast to the generic, market-researched trappings of larger chains.  When you go in, you feel like you’re a local in a local business.  You also get the feeling that an actual person put up all the posters and comics, and that they did so because they liked them, not because they thought it would sell more product. 

 

While the atmosphere of Sensuous Sandwich makes you feel like a local, the venue’s greatest asset is its food.  Like any small restaurant, the quality of eating experience depends significantly on what you get.  Obviously some sandwiches, while good, aren’t far-and-away better than what you can find elsewhere.  On the other hand, I’ve never had a sub even remotely as delicious as the “Spicy Enticer.”  With pastrami, pepperoni, Italian sausage, and your choice of trappings (just get everything and choose cream cheese), this sandwich may well give you coronary heart disease, but if it does you’ll never be happier about it.  I usually get the four or six inch sandwich, though it’s so good I routinely wish I could pack away more.  My other favorite is “The Tantalizer,” but with each sandwich there are numerous customizing options; order what you think you’ll like but don’t be afraid to experiment.  For example, I don’t usually like cream cheese, but I love it on the Spicy Enticer.  Like the décor the sandwiches aren’t fancy, but they’ll fill you up and, more importantly, they taste delicious.  Also, one of the best things about Sensuous Sandwich is that you pay by the inch.  Sandwiches start at $2.69 four inches and go up from there.  Generally, with those prices Sensuous Sandwich is also one of the most economic places you can eat. 

 

In the end Sensuous Sandwich is one of those places that make me sad I won’t always live in Provo.  For now however, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that it’s one of Utah County’s best culinary treasures.  It’s small, local, and gritty enough to be unique, while also offering some of the best food you can find. 

 

Electron Deception Casserole

Today in band practice I realized that Electron Deception is very much like a casserole.  Specifically, we’re a lasagna. This metaphor emerged while we were trying to pare down one of our songs to make it more interesting.  Thus, Ryan’s keyboard parts are similar to noodles before they go into the lasagna; though they make up large part of the finished product, they’re not so great uncook and/or on their own.  Laura’s vocals are kind of like sauce: not the biggest part in terms of volume (I mean space, not decibels), but perhaps the most responsible for the lasagna’s flavor.  My drumming is similar to the hamburger (it’s a ground-beef lasagna).  Its kind of rough but punctuates the dish with different textures.  This leaves the bass as the cheese.  Unfortunately we’re without a bass player, but when Chris gets here, we’ll hopefully be a delicious band.